Moving on

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Slash and Burn.”

Approximately two months ago, I lost majority of the already few people I had in my life, and I cowered in loneliness ever since then. It was hard to grasp that I gave of myself to the people around me, only to hear them say that It was never enough. For the few of the people I knew who stuck around, it was completely hard for me to trust them or to believe whatever they said because I felt very inadequate as a person– and so I became distant.

However, since then I’ve realized that I was growing distant with the wrong people. Two of my oldest and dearest friends and my family supported me even  from way down in my dark hole. I couldn’t appreciate what they were doing for me at the time, but now I am forever grateful for their help.

It took a while, but I’m realizing that, as a person you can never really satisfy everyone; so the only person you should satisfy is yourself. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that is true to yourself. Because as long as you stay true to  you, the right people will stick around, and you can appreciate yourself better.

Relationships as like  business transactions, where both parties must be mutually satisfied for it to work, whether it be emotionally or physically.

Nevertheless, condemning someone to a one-sided love affair or friendship was something I never wanted and in that respect I don’t blame the person who left, including my Ex. I got a chance to re-evaluate myself and reflect on what I could do to be a better person and, that’s the best thing about moving on.


Unedited version:

Approximately two months ago, I lost majority of the already few people I had in my life, and I cowered in loneliness ever since then. It was hard to grasp that I gave of myself to the people around me, only to hear them say that It was never enough. For the few of the people I knew who stuck around, it was completely hard for me to trust them or to believe whatever they said because I felt very inadequate as a person– and so I became distant.

However, since then I’ve realized that i was growing distant with the wrong people. Two of my oldest and dearest friends stuck by me and my family even supported me even though from way down in my dark hole, I couldn’t appreciate what they were doing for me at the time. I just needed to stop mentally going back to a place that no longer existed and grab on to the reality that was there presently.

It took a while, and it hasn’t completely struck home yet; but I’ve realized that: as a person you can never really satisfy everyone and so the only person you should truly satisfy is yourself. Not in a way that is selfish, but in a way that is true to yourself. Because as long as you stay true to who you are, the right people will stick around, those who are not right for your life will eventually leave and you can also appreciate yourself better.

Thus, in  a way, I also do not blame them for doing what they did, my Ex included. Yes, it was truly a painful separation but I can’t expect anyone to want to stay in a friendship that is not working out for them.
I always think of friendships or relationships as something of a business transaction, where both parties must be mutually satisfied. It doesn’t have to be anything physical but just for example – I like hanging out with A because he makes me laugh and A likes hanging out with me because I’m quirky.-
And especially when it comes to relationships an acceptance of the other person completely is necessary. I at least believe you should love and appreciate the person enough so their flaws are not are problem and should never ever be a problem… Cause that’s who they are.
It’s more like a give and take?

Nevertheless, condemning someone to a one-sided love affair or friendship is something I never wanted. I got a chance to re-evaluate myself and reflect on who I am as a person and what I could do to be a better person and I guess that’s the best thing about moving on.

Advertisements

Dream Job with a Twist

I have been in despair for about two weeks now, the kind of despair that cripples and inhibits you from doing things you ought to do.

It all started some weeks a back, where my favorite local radio station advertised that they are looking for writers. So, with great anticipation I searched how to fix my resume and how to write a brilliant cover letter, all in the hopes that somehow or someway they’d consider me. Now, I have no writing experience. I haven’t even been able to get through with any writing volunteer work, so my only samples I had to offer were my College essays.

Even when I was writing and editing my cover letter, and even when I sent  in my application, I convinced myself that I wouldn’t get in. A few days passed, and surprisingly enough, bam! I got an interview.

To a person who sent out lots of resumes and job applications and had been rejected by all up to that point, I was admittedly on cloud 9. I tried to cushion myself, and coax myself to believe it’d be okay if I don’t make it pass the interviews. That, I can still use it as a learning experience for the next time. Sigh– But that was wishful thinking.
When I met the head of the newsroom, it was all sparkles and glitter, but then she gave me a test! Woah!– I wasn’t expecting a test!
She gave me simple questions.. something that anyone could answer. Except me!
I don’t know if this happens to anyone else but at that moment I couldn’t hear anything. The once loud and active newsroom seemed very quiet. All of a sudden it got warmer and I was aware of how fast and loud my heart was beating.
How could I not know the answers to these questions!
And in that moment I realized, that I was fooling myself a bit. I wanted to enter journalism but I hadn’t researched enough to improve myself in ways that would be adequate. Anyone with just a bit of experience was enough to outshine me. My degree did not make me anything special and I was not special.

She gave me a chance to redeem myself an I did the best that I could. But I  knew once I left, it’d be the last I had to do with the indoors of that studio.

———————–Now for the Twist——————– Continue reading

Let Me Introduce Myself

Hello!

My name is Masika and I hail from the small Caribbean twin islands of Trinidad and Tobago. At the moment, I am just 3 credits shy of completing my degree and getting thrown into the vicious pool of career hunting. So, I decided to plunge into it anyways. It’s inevitable right?
However, I’ve always wanted to start a blog. So I guess in all actuality.. I’m years late, instead of getting a leg up and being early like I was hoping for. Nevertheless, I have spent the last four years being cultured in the ways of language, speech and writing; and at this point it’s pretty much all that I am eager to do. I’m quite prepared to use the  skills that I have acquired and apply them in any way I can.

One of the things I’ve learned is that in order to keep your skills, you must always use them. Thus, what better way to keep using them than to blog!?

To all those of you who have been here and done this, you are my inspiration to try. Because I know its hard. Everything, especially in the beginning, is hard. The beginning can seem soo scary because you can never really see whats far ahead. But I’m choosing to not worry about the destination and just enjoy the journey.

I also know that there are tons of blogs out there and thousands of writers who are way better than I am. So I’m just gonna try my best and perfect my craft till I get to that point where hopefully, I am no longer Bronze V (League of Legends joke).

 To those who are feeling the struggle, just came out the struggle or who knows it all too well, I thank you for the page visit and the minutes of your time. Comment below and let me know what it was like when you were just heading into the world of work. I hope to get you to read more of my future content!

– Till the next post