Moving on

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Slash and Burn.”

Approximately two months ago, I lost majority of the already few people I had in my life, and I cowered in loneliness ever since then. It was hard to grasp that I gave of myself to the people around me, only to hear them say that It was never enough. For the few of the people I knew who stuck around, it was completely hard for me to trust them or to believe whatever they said because I felt very inadequate as a person– and so I became distant.

However, since then I’ve realized that I was growing distant with the wrong people. Two of my oldest and dearest friends and my family supported me even  from way down in my dark hole. I couldn’t appreciate what they were doing for me at the time, but now I am forever grateful for their help.

It took a while, but I’m realizing that, as a person you can never really satisfy everyone; so the only person you should satisfy is yourself. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that is true to yourself. Because as long as you stay true to  you, the right people will stick around, and you can appreciate yourself better.

Relationships as like  business transactions, where both parties must be mutually satisfied for it to work, whether it be emotionally or physically.

Nevertheless, condemning someone to a one-sided love affair or friendship was something I never wanted and in that respect I don’t blame the person who left, including my Ex. I got a chance to re-evaluate myself and reflect on what I could do to be a better person and, that’s the best thing about moving on.


Unedited version:

Approximately two months ago, I lost majority of the already few people I had in my life, and I cowered in loneliness ever since then. It was hard to grasp that I gave of myself to the people around me, only to hear them say that It was never enough. For the few of the people I knew who stuck around, it was completely hard for me to trust them or to believe whatever they said because I felt very inadequate as a person– and so I became distant.

However, since then I’ve realized that i was growing distant with the wrong people. Two of my oldest and dearest friends stuck by me and my family even supported me even though from way down in my dark hole, I couldn’t appreciate what they were doing for me at the time. I just needed to stop mentally going back to a place that no longer existed and grab on to the reality that was there presently.

It took a while, and it hasn’t completely struck home yet; but I’ve realized that: as a person you can never really satisfy everyone and so the only person you should truly satisfy is yourself. Not in a way that is selfish, but in a way that is true to yourself. Because as long as you stay true to who you are, the right people will stick around, those who are not right for your life will eventually leave and you can also appreciate yourself better.

Thus, in  a way, I also do not blame them for doing what they did, my Ex included. Yes, it was truly a painful separation but I can’t expect anyone to want to stay in a friendship that is not working out for them.
I always think of friendships or relationships as something of a business transaction, where both parties must be mutually satisfied. It doesn’t have to be anything physical but just for example – I like hanging out with A because he makes me laugh and A likes hanging out with me because I’m quirky.-
And especially when it comes to relationships an acceptance of the other person completely is necessary. I at least believe you should love and appreciate the person enough so their flaws are not are problem and should never ever be a problem… Cause that’s who they are.
It’s more like a give and take?

Nevertheless, condemning someone to a one-sided love affair or friendship is something I never wanted. I got a chance to re-evaluate myself and reflect on who I am as a person and what I could do to be a better person and I guess that’s the best thing about moving on.